People Change

“One does not need to have any formal knowledge of music - nor, indeed, to be particularly ‘musical’ - to enjoy music and to respond to it at the deepest levels. Music is part of being human, and there is no human culture in which it is not highly developed and esteemed.”

- Oliver Sacks

James and Mike Posner - Red Rocks - April 2023

Hey Mike, can I ask you a question?  I ask as I walk down the steps of Red Rocks amphitheater.

Mike turns, looks at me, laughs, smiles and says - Sure man, what's up?

What is the one thing you wish everybody knew about you that nobody knows?

Without missing a beat he responds - That I'm better in person.

What do you mean?

Well in LA and Hollywood, everyone is so fake and how they are in person is so different from what everyone sees but for myself, I'm much better in person.

We talked for a few more minutes, snapped the above photo, parted ways as we both continued enjoying the event.

The event we were at was a Daybreaker event - a no alcohol, wellness party that starts in the wee hours of the morning and ends in the early afternoon.  The day was full of yoga, breathwork (led by Mike and Samuel Whiting), lots of dancing and a few songs performed by Mike Posner.

When Mike wasn't leading breathwork or performing he was just out in the crowd hanging out with all of us normal folk, having fun, enjoying the festivities and letting random people talk to him.

When I first heard his music in my 20's, I always thought the same thing, "His music is pretty catchy, the lyrics are amazing but from his music videos and everything else that he puts out about himself, he just seems like such a total douchebag."  I listened to his music every now and then but mostly kept my distance.

Then I heard he was planning to walk across America.  This caught my attention and I pondered if the pop star would make it.  I'm no stranger to athletics, endurance or physical feats of strength and at the time I knew someone who had just completed their own walk across Amarrowca (they raised awareness and registered people for a bone marrow registry) - it is not an easy task by any means to walk across the entire country of the United States of America.

He made it across though - which was even more intriguing to me.  In the middle of the walk, in Colorado, he was even bit by a rattlesnake and he kept going (after recovering).

Then he started training in Colorado to climb Mt. Everest.  At this point I'm full on cheering him on.  Climbing Mt. Everest is something that I once dreamed of doing but the cost of doing it and time needed for training has put it way out of reach for myself (for now anyways).

He successfully summited Mt. Everest and avoided an avalanche in the process.

Holy shit!!!  Was my response to that - this guy is for real.  It's common knowledge that climbing Mt. Everest is no joke but few people realize the toll that climbing at altitude actually takes on you.  Taking one step and being completely out of breath, pausing, then taking another step which leaves you completely out of breath.  Then throw in some good old fashion sleep deprivation from trying to sleep in a tent where the 70+ mph winds keep blowing the side of the tent into your face as you're sure the entire tent is going to get blown completely off the mountain then when you do manage to fall asleep you wake up a short time later, feeling like you're drowning as you instinctively gasp for air as your body reckons with the altitude then sprinkle on the fact that there are periods of being really hot in the sun followed by being really cold when the clouds roll in plus your body slowly starts to shut down.  The cherry on top is there is so much that is way outside of your control, you can be as safe as possible and still get killed in a split second, which is a big part why there are ceremonies paying respects to the mountain, before climbing on it.  Climbing mountains at altitude can be absolutely grueling and agonizing but nothing is as rewarding.

It was in-between those adventures of his that I started listening to his music more and discovered his albums "A Real Good Kid" and "Keep Going" which is exactly what I needed at the time.  Those albums helped me through some extremely difficult times in my life.

What this all demonstrates is that... people change.

For myself, my current 37 year old self is vastly different from my 20 year old self.  I am not the same person at all.

Often times I ponder if I could go back in time and give myself advice, what advice would I give?  Most people see this as a useless exercise since we can't actually go back in time (as far as we know).  My answer is quite simple though:  I wouldn't give myself any advice.

Mostly this is because if I were able to go back in time, there is no way in hell that my 20 year old self would believe that I am me from the future.  I would be very disappointed in my current life in a lot of ways and would definitely comment on how messed up my teeth currently appear to be.  There's no way I would believe it, I would just think someone was playing a weird prank on me and I would definitely ignore myself.  I know this to be true, because I am me and nobody knows me better than me.  There is not a single thing that I would be able to do to convince myself otherwise.

Secondly, I am who I am today because of who I was, all the experiences I encountered, and all the people I've ever known in my entire life.  Ubuntu is a better way of saying that.  If I were to go back in time and override all of that, it is unknown how that would affect my current self.  Frankly, I love my current self... a lot.  That is a very recent development in my life and is the result of all of the work I've put into myself over the past 10 years or so.  I don't want to change who I currently am for anything in the world because I love myself.  I've been through a lot of very, very, very, very difficult times in life that at the time, were nearly unbearable.  On the other side of those experiences though, they molded me into the human being I am today.  Just like a swordsmith skillfully pounding metal into a katana, the process may not be fun but if done right, the end product can be downright beautiful, sharp and useful.

So instead of giving myself advice that I wouldn't listen to and would potentially drastically alter present day James, I would just sit down with myself and listen.  That's it.  Just simply listen.  This is something that my 20 year old self desperately needed more than anything else in the world and did not have.  I've spent the majority of my time on this earth feeling like a comet flinging aimlessly thru the vastness of the universe, hoping to one day stumble across the one small corner of the dark emptiness where I belong and am accepted for who I am.  Music can give one a sense of belonging and understanding.  When there is no one to listen to you, there is always music.  This is what Mike's music did (and still does) for me.  The music gave me a sense of belonging, a sense of I'm not alone in this world.  There are other people going through very similar challenges - even if their lives are very different from your own.  The universe always seems to excel at giving you exactly the medicine you need at exactly the right time.

While I can't go back in time, sit down with myself and listen.  I can take this and use it for how I treat other people and how I show up in the world for others currently.  Which is why that's a very useful exercise to run through.

Mike didn't have to talk to me, he could have just as easily said, nah man, sorry, I don't want to talk to random people right now.  But he didn't, he spent a few minutes talking and listening very intently.  Which is a conversation that he probably forgot about a few minutes later but is something I will remember for the rest of my life.

Lesson:  Do everything with deep intention and learn to listen like that.

People can change, it doesn't matter if you're a pop-star trying to find who you've become via walking 2,800 miles spanning an entire country then climbing the highest mountain in the world.  Or if you're a heroin addict chef bouncing from job to job who transformed into making one of the best, thought provoking, and uniting television shows to have graced our society (so far).

To make this change happen in yourself, you have to want it.  You have to put in the work.  You have to have the gumption to make it happen.  Nobody can make it happen but yourself.  You also can't force anybody else to change.  They have to want it deep down to the deepest depths of their soul in order to make it happen.

If a butterfly is helped out of its chrysalis it is much more likely to die in the world then those who have to fight with all of their might to make it out.  Perhaps that's why challenges exist for all of us in this world: to help you build muscle, to help you learn, to help you grow, to build your survival skills.  When you make it through to the other side, they transform you and make you a better person in the long run.  If you don't have those experiences... would you make it?

Nothing is static in this world.  A single drop of water does not stay in the same place, it is constantly moving.  A cloud rolling across the sky is everchanging.  The planets and stars are in constant motion.  If something is not growing it is deteriorating.  This includes us as people.  If you stop learning and stretching your mind, you become very rigid in your ways and will have an increasingly narrow view of the world.  If you stop working out, you will lose your fitness.  If you stop challenging yourself, you will forget how to push yourself past your comfort zone and before you know it, even comfort is challenging.  Nothing in this world is guaranteed.  We have to work to have everything we want.  The work is never-ending and must be put in consistently.  The work never stops.  Anything is possible - if you are willing to put in the work.

Everybody does change.  Whether you realize it or not.  We are all constantly changing.  Our cells in our body are regenerating non-stop.  Constant change can be good or it can be bad or better yet, it just is what it is.  Everyone in society is constantly metamorphosing, if a relationship with someone is no longer a healthy relationship then get rid of it.  Seek out new and healthy relationships that are mutually beneficial to both parties.  This applies equally to family, friends, acquaintances, etc.  There's no purpose in hanging on to someone just because it's someone you've always known if that relationship has soured.

It's also important to not judge a book by its cover, someone may be vastly different from the content they put out and how they portray themselves.  If you haven't met them, who knows how they really are.

For myself, in a lot of ways I find myself returning to the unknown wisdom of my 20 year old self - mass amounts of yoga, qigong, meditation, cold exposure, discipline, making the most of my time, exercise, etc.  Yet, I have changed immensely.  I used to practice those activities for others - physical appearance, external validation, and bragging rights.  Explore, learn, grow.  Return to what you now know to the deepest depths of your being to be wise.  Get rid of that which does not serve you (alcohol, processed sugar, caffeine, etc.).  I have returned to practicing those same activities solely for myself and each change I make is now for myself.  I am constantly seeking out new tools which may help me along my path which has led me to rediscovering the same tools my 20 year old self used along with breathwork, getting rid of excess, gardening, being resourceful, knowing my value, etc.  Who I was in the past does not dictate who I am currently or who I will be in the future.  My life may currently be lackluster and disappointing to 20 year old James but I know the universe is setting me up for something incredible.  There is no such thing as a straight trail to the top of a mountain, there are always switchbacks, false summits, and going down valleys before you can go up summits.  An arrow has to be drawn back before it can be fired.  The further it gets drawn back, the further it will fly.  I know I'm about to be launched further than I can currently imagine, I can feel it in my bones, its very palpable.  If I could time travel seventeen years into the future I know my life will be unrecognizable and beyond my wildest dreams.

Everybody can change.  It does not matter who you are, where you are from, how old you are, what your history is, what you think your future holds, what assumptions you have about yourself, etc.  None of that matters.  Those are all merely labels.  The neat thing about labels is you can peel them off and put a new one on.  You can change anything you want about yourself and your life.  The real question is: Are you willing to put the work and effort into making that change happen?

In the words of Mike Posner you must always:  Keep Going!!!

Side Note: Mike is indeed much better in person!

“Music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears — it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear. But for many of my neurological patients, music is even more — it can provide access, even when no medication can, to movement, to speech, to life. For them, music is not a luxury, but a necessity." - Oliver Sacks